In the stars
by Daisy5
Summary: Sequel to After the Storm


Title: In the stars. Author: Daisy Email: e.large@talk21.com Pairing: Angel/Cordelia and a little Giles/Anya Rating:R for language Category:Angst/Romance Summary: Sequel to AFTER THE STORM Spoilers:I'm really bad at this bit, just to be safe I'm going to go with everything that has been and might be in Buffy and Angel. Disclaimer:All the characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and UPN and WB and Fox and anyone else that has the money to sue me. NOT MINE. Distribution:Want, take, have, but be a peach and let me know. Feedback: Yes please, its chocolate for the soul. A/N:Do our heroes get a happy ending? Read and find out!  
  
The lobby floor of the Hyperion Hotel was littered with weapons, broadswords, stakes and crossbows made a deadly sea beneath the vampires feet yet Angel still could not find the one thing he was looking for. Angrily he threw a short sword at the cabinet, not caring as the glass shattered into a hundred pieces.  
  
"Damn Angel, what's the emergency?" Charles Gunn grumbled as he entered the hotel, he stopped when he saw the state the vampire was in. "What's happened?"  
  
"Cordelia's gone." Angel growled as he ripped the lock off the filing cabinet.  
  
"To England? I thought..."  
  
  
  
"No."  
  
"Where then?" Gunn struggled to get any information from the other man.  
  
"I don't know." The vampire slammed the draw shut with such a force that it toppled over.  
  
"Have you called her cell phone?"  
  
"No." He pulled out the small safe from behind the counter, its weight telling him he had finally found what he had been looking for.  
  
"Angel, we've all shown you how to use....."  
  
  
  
"Something has taken Cordelia. Something that isn't human. I'm going to find it, kill it and get my woman back." Angel smashed open the little box and picked out the heavy gun inside, the weight felt reassuring in his hand.  
  
"Ok, sounds like a plan. But, and this is only a suggestion, maybe your favourite broadsword might be better for demon killing instead of the kill everything in your path and beyond firearm?" The young black man edged towards the vampire, his hand outstretched for the gun.  
  
"The gun isn't for the demon." Angel tucked it in to the back of his pants.  
  
"Look man, just calm down, are you sure Cordelia hasn't just gone back to her apartment?" Gunn tried to appease him.  
  
"Angel, she's not at home and I rang Giles, he stayed on in Sunnydale, he hasn't seen or heard from her either. Fred's staying at Cordelia's apartment encase she turns up." Wesley ran through the front doors, clearly he'd been informed of what was going on.  
  
"Wes, what's going on?" Gunn asked the Englishman, maybe he'd get more information from him.  
  
"Cordelia's missing." Wesley picked up a crossbow and sword from the floor.  
  
"That much I know. Where are you going?" He asked him as Angel and Wesley pushed passed him and stalked to the door. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"Something I should have done a long time ago." Angel barked over his shoulder. "Are you coming or not?"  
  
"This is going to end badly." Gunn told him as he followed the vampire with a soul and the rogue demon hunter out of the door.  
  
***  
  
Fred sat on the seer's sofa, waiting for the phone to ring. Life use to be a lot simpler for the little Texan woman, living in a cave in a different dimension was a cake walk compared to the last few months.  
  
"So Dennis...heard any good jokes recently?" She asked Cordelia's phantom house mate, his only reply was a cool breeze floating across the back of her neck making her shiver. Fred fiddled with the corner of the huge cushion she was hugging, she felt useless, she wasn't like Cordelia, she couldn't go out with the men and kick demon butt, if she did they would spend half the time trying to protect her. Fred knew she wasn't a warrior. So instead she was stuck waiting for the phone to ring when everyone else was out hunting for her friend.  
  
"I'm sure she'll come back, she probably just went out for milk." She said trying to comfort them both.  
  
***  
  
The stench of evil permeated the offices of Wolfram and Hart, Angel quickly brushed aside the guards outside Lilah Morgan's office as though they were nothing but gnats and stormed in, followed by Wesley and Gunn. Although it was late the lawyer was still at work, she didn't look surprised at the intrusion.  
  
"You boys just can't keep away from me can you? I'm flattered, really, but I'm afraid you'll have to make an appointment to see me with my secretary." Lilah carried on typing at her computer as she spoke.  
  
"Where is she?" Angel growled at her.  
  
"Like I said, I'm very busy right now so if...." Lilah was cut short by the gun pointed at her forehead. She darted her eyes up to the vampire that she had spent the last four years making miserable. Angel's hand did not shake but his eyes betrayed the turmoil inside him. "Well, this looks serious."  
  
"Where's Cordelia?" He asked her again, he heard the security guards enter the room, Lilah gestured for them to leave.  
  
"Lost your girlfriend Angel? Oh dear, how sad." The lawyer smirked at him, she tensed up however when she saw his finger squeezing around the trigger. "I wish I could help you fellas but I really have no idea where she is. Now, don't slam the door on your way out." She got up from behind her desk and moved to her filing cabinet, turning her back on the three heavily armed men. Lilah didn't hear the vampire move up behind her, but she knew about it when he pinned her to the wall by her throat.  
  
"Don't fuck with me Lilah, what have you done with Cordelia?" Angel snarled roughly in to her ear. She thought the other two men would have tried to stop him by now but when she glanced over at them she saw the same hate in their eyes.  
  
"Are you deaf....I don't know where she is, it has nothing to do with me!" Lilah gasped and struggled under his vice grip. Angel let go of her and she stumbled to her feet. "Are you sure she hasn't just done a runner? From what I heard she was getting kinda cosy with your evil half, maybe you just don't do it for her any more." She goaded him unwisely. Angel towered over her, his eyes flickering yellow. Lilah could feel the cold metal of the gun pressing into her stomach.  
  
"If you don't tell me where she is I'll..."  
  
"What? Kill a human? Angel you don't have the balls." Her eyes flashed daring him to do it.  
  
"Lets find out shall we?" The vampire nudged the gun into her brutally. Wesley and Gunn shot a look at each other anxiously, this wasn't Angel's style but right now he wasn't acting quite like his usual self and it was making them nervous.  
  
"Angel, stop." Wesley finally spoke up and broke the tense silence. Angel didn't back down.  
  
"Give me a reason not to kill you." The vampire asked her evenly, a cruel smile creeping across his face.  
  
"We don't have time for this." Gunn brought him back with a firm hand on his shoulder. "Cordelia, remember?" Angel stepped away from the woman trying to pull himself together. Without looking at his two friends in the eye he began to walk to the door.  
  
"Told ya you don't have the balls." Lilah muttered as she straightened her rumpled suit. Angel slowly turned around and shot the despicable lawyer in the foot, smiling as she screamed and fell to the floor. He didn't look back as he left the office.  
  
***  
  
Fred jumped up from the sofa as the front door opened, her smile faded when she saw it was the men.  
  
"You haven't found her?" She frowned.  
  
"No, but Angel shot Lilah." Gunn dropped wearily down onto the couch next to her.  
  
"Did you kill her?" Fred raised her eyebrows at Angel, he shook his head and noted the fact that the sweet little Texan looked a little let down that he hadn't. "So what do we do now?" She looked questioningly at her friends but none of them could give her an answer. Wesley's gaze was concentrated on the vampire, he had been wild in Lilah's office, he wasn't Angel and he wasn't Angelus and it had scared the Englishman. What frightened him the most was the quiet calm that exuded from the demon, if he had been screaming and ranting Wesley would have been able to handle it. Cordelia had only been missing for about two hours, he dreaded to think what he'd be like after a week with out her.  
  
***  
  
Cordelia stood uncertainly outside the front door, she ran her fingers over the knotted wood, a smile on her lips as she remembered the times it had to be repaired after some demon or another had burst through it, only to be thwarted by the scoobies. Always replaced with the same kind of door. Finally she knocked lightly.  
  
"Oh, hello." Anya blinked in surprise at her.  
  
"Hi Anya, sorry it's so late but I need..."  
  
"Giles and I are having sex." The vengeance demon blocked the door with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Err...right now?" Cordelia grimaced.  
  
"Cordelia?" Rupert Giles came to the door fully dressed, she noticed how his arm snaked around Anya's waist as though that were it's natural home, just as Angel had done when they were together. "Are you OK? Wesley called, they're all very worried about you." He ushered the seer into his apartment. "What happened?"  
  
  
  
"I'm fine, really. Nothing happened. I just....thought I'd come see the old gang." Cordelia lied unconvincingly. "But if I'm interrupting anything I can come back in the morning." She gestured to leave, a little embarrassed that she might have walked in on her old boyfriend and his girl.  
  
"We were just talking." He raised his a questioning eyebrow at Anya who just shrugged and leant against the breakfast bar.  
  
"So...." Cordelia perched on the old weathered couch, her hands clasped tightly on her lap. "Anya, how are you?"  
  
"Clearly better then you right now." The straight talking demon said to the visibly distraught woman.  
  
"I'm fine." Cordelia thought if she just kept saying that maybe she would start believing it.  
  
"No, you're not. It usually takes a funeral or the end of the world to get you to come back to Sunnydale, so which one is it?" Anya asked her.  
  
"Neither." Cordelia stood up suddenly, unsure of what she was doing. "I should probably get going, I'm sorry for barging in." Giles impeded her hasty escape and glared at her until she sat down again. He poured her a small glass of bourbon, she obviously needed it. The ex- watcher sat down opposite her and watched her gulp down the drink like it was lemonade. Anya saw the look of deep sorrow on her the seer's face, there was no hope there, no silver lining, just bleak resignation.  
  
"I've left Angel." Cordelia finally said after a long loaded silence.  
  
"So, end of the world then." Anya nodded and settled down next to Giles.  
  
***  
  
"Angel, quit pacing." Gunn snapped at the distraught vampire who was wearing a groove in Cordelia's carpet.  
  
"Wesley have you found anything yet?" Angel barked at the harried Englishman.  
  
"Well I don't exactly have a whole lot to work with!" Wesley bit back at him and threw the book he was reading onto the coffee table in exasperation.  
  
"I can't just sit here and do nothing!"  
  
"Well what do you suggest we should do?! Go shot Lilah in the other foot, would that make you feel better?"  
  
"At least we'd be doing something!"  
  
"I'm pretty sure screaming at each other isn't going to bring her back!" Fred stood up and shouted at them both. The shrill ring of the telephone stopped them all in their tracks, they looked at it dumbly as though they had never seen it before.  
  
"Someone needs to answer it." Gunn spoke up. Fred gingerly picked up the receiver, suddenly very frightened about who or what might be on the other end of the line.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
***  
  
Giles laid a thick wool blanket over Cordelia, she was asleep curled up on his couch exhausted from dodging the questions he and Anya had fired at her.  
  
"I called Angel, you were right, he was at her apartment." Anya whispered to him as she came out of his bedroom.  
  
"He's coming here?" Giles walked with her into the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah. He sounded kinda..." She trailed off, her beautiful face twisted into a grimace as she fought for the word she was looking for.  
  
"Grrry?" Giles helped her out. She nodded her head vigorously.  
  
"I promise I will never run out on you in the middle of the night and go to Xander." Anya said earnestly. Rupert Giles smiled at the determined look on her face, he wrapped his arms around her and she snuggled into his chest.  
  
"Thank you." He kissed the top of her head, breathing in her delicate perfume. "And thank you for be so gracious about our evening not going to plan."  
  
"I'm wonderful." Anya grinned up at him, planting a chaste kiss on his lips.  
  
"You certainly are." Giles murmured huskily, kissing her deeply this time. Sighing happily the young woman pulled away from the man she was falling in love with, she knew that if he carried on kissing her like that one thing would inevitably lead to another and she was pretty sure Giles wouldn't be happy having sex with his ex- girlfriend in the house. "So..." He cleared his throat and walked them back into the lounge then outside to the jasmine scented courtyard with his arms still wrapped around her, the fairy-lights gave small area a soft romantic glow, this was their little piece of heaven. "What did you tell Angel?" His voice still hushed so that he didn't wake the sleeping woman inside.  
  
"I didn't know what to say, she wasn't exactly very forthcoming with information was she? I thought you said they were moving on after the whole 'oops I gave away my soul without telling you thus leading you to sleep with my homicidal alter ego in a desperate attempt for comfort' debacle?" Anya settled down on to his lap, she felt his chest rumble with soft laughter at her description of Angel and Cordelia's life.  
  
"That's what I thought. She loves him and he loves her so I have no idea why Cordelia would just run out like that. It doesn't bode well that's for sure." Giles rested his head on her shoulder, sneakily looking down her top. They had indeed been doing a lot more than just talking when Cordelia had turned up, as much as he was concerned about the young woman he was still a man in the throws of a blossoming relationship, all hormones and libido like a sixteen year old boy.  
  
"Giles, are you staring at my breasts?" Anya chuckled when she noticed.  
  
"I can't help it...they're like my magnetic north..." He nibbled on her earlobe, his warmth breath on her neck made Anya shiver with delight.  
  
"Angel and Cordelia had better work things out quickly." She murmured breathlessly as the Englishman's hand snaked beneath her top.  
  
***  
  
Two hours later Cordelia was woken abruptly by a series of harsh knocks on the door, for a moment in her half asleep half awake state she had thought that the sky was falling in and no one had told her about it. Groggily she lumbered off the couch, wincing at the kink in her neck and squinting at her watch. It was three in the morning, she felt like she had been on the move for days, could it only be three hours since Skip had brought her world crashing down around her?  
  
"What the hell?" Anya grumbled as she came out of the bedroom after being roused by the din.  
  
"OK, OK! Jesus, what's the emergency...." Cordelia shouted as she swung open the heavy door. She frantically closed it when she saw who was standing there.  
  
"Who is it?" Anya raked her hand through her hair, still half asleep.  
  
"Cordelia! Open the fucking door!" Angel growled loudly.  
  
"You called him?! I asked you not to!" Cordelia accused the vengeance demon wildly while the symphony of thuds continued against the oak door.  
  
"Angel's here already?" The ex-watcher emerged dressed in his robe. He saw Cordelia's deer caught in the head lights expression but opened the door any way. They could all feel the anger coming off of the vampire in waves, Cordelia backed away from the door nervously. "Come in." Giles finally invited him into his home. Angel barrelled towards the woman he loved, scaring her when he gripped her by the upper arms, his fingers bit into her flesh and for a terrible moment Cordelia thought he might be Angelus.  
  
"Cordelia what the hell is going on?! I thought....I thought something had taken you!" He growled roughly, his vampire visage flickering beneath his skin.  
  
"I'm fine, let go of me." She hissed at Angel as she pushed him away. As fast as a bullet Cordelia grabbed her purse and dashed for the door, she took two steps before Angel snatched her arm making her stumble forward. Anya had unconsciously moved closer to Giles.  
  
"Where are you going?" Angel tried to calm himself down, he had been so relieved when Anya had called but during the fast drive to Sunnydale he had become more and more furious that Cordelia had just up and left so suddenly for no reason.  
  
"Away from here. Angel, get off of me." She tugged her arm frantically.  
  
"Not until you tell me what's going on." Cordelia finally looked at the vampire in the eyes, they were dark pools of emotion that she longed to drown in, she knew that they would be her undoing.  
  
"I don't want to be with you." She said quietly almost to herself, even Angel had to strain to hear her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said I don't want to with you."  
  
"I don't understand." He frowned in confusion, Cordelia couldn't bare to do look at him while she did this.  
  
"It's not difficult to figure out Angel. I don't love you. Now get the fuck off of me." She hissed at him brutally, he had let her go at her harsh words, Cordelia crossed her arms across her chest and summoned up the resolve of Queen C, Sunnydale super bitch.  
  
"But...." Angel trailed off unsure of what it was he was trying to say. Anya saw the pain in the vampires eyes and had to look away.  
  
"But nothing Angel. It's over. Finished. Deal with it and move on." Cordelia flicked her hair nonchalantly over her shoulder, she gave off the illusion of being cool, calm and collected but she was anything but that. Giles saw the scowl taking over the other mans face, he figured this was a good time for him and Anya to leave and hurried them both off to the bedroom.  
  
"This isn't funny Cordelia, what are you playing at?"  
  
"I'm not playing at anything Angel, I've just changed my mind. A woman is allowed to do that. I don't love you."  
  
"Why are you lying to me Cordy, what's happened? Is some one making you do this?"  
  
"I'm doing this because I am. I should have done it along time ago. I don't....it's not what I want anymore."  
  
"In the ten minutes you were in the kitchen you decided that everything we have, everything we've been through means nothing to you? That you don't love me, like it doesn't kill you inside whenever we're apart? Bull shit. Stop lying Cordelia and tell me the truth." Angel raised his eyebrow at her.  
  
"It is the truth." She lied. "I don't love you. Not after Angelus, not anymore." Every word she said cut Angel to the bone. "I'm leaving the hotel, leaving LA. You'll have to find someone else to do the filing. I have a life to get on with unlike some people, I'm fed up with living in the shadows. It's over." Cordelia finished.  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
"Well that's your problem, not mine."  
  
"Will you just talk to me Cordy!" Angel begged her.  
  
"There's nothing to talk about." Cordelia said without emotion.  
  
"I'm not going to let you do this Cordelia! I just don't except it, how can you go from giving me your heart to acting like we're not even friends? Why are you running away from me?! " Angel shouted at her, she quailed at the betrayal in his voice.  
  
"Did you not hear me the first million times? I DON'T LOVE YOU!" Cordelia screamed back at him, she hated herself more than she had ever had before.  
  
"Have you lost your mind?!"  
  
"If anything I think I've found it. You and me...we're a joke. A mistake that I let go on for way too long. It was never meant to be anything more than a fling." "So it was all lies? Everything...." The vampire slumped down on to the couch, his head in his hands.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I can't.....Cordy please don't do this..... I love you."  
  
"Well I don't. I think you should leave now." It took all of her strength to walk to the door and open it.  
  
"Dammit woman! I know you love me as much as I love you and I'm not leaving until you tell me the real reason you left me in the middle of the night?" He advanced on her like a lion stalking it's prey.  
  
"Angelus."  
  
"What......?"  
  
"Why would I want YOU when I've had Angelus? In the short while we were together he made me feel things you never have, you never can." Cordelia finally uttered the words she knew would make him hate her. "See this?" She showed him the faint scar from where Angelus had fed from her. "I let him do this. I wanted him to. Not you. You aren't the one I want."  
  
Angel thought he was going to throw up, he couldn't believe what she was saying, none of it made sense. He knew that if he stayed in here any longer listening to her spiteful words he would do something terrible. With hunched shoulders and eyes full of fury the vampire strode out of the apartment, not caring if the soon to be rising sun burnt the flesh off his bones.  
  
Cordelia closed the door behind him, his dark scent still surrounding her even though he had gone. The seer leant her back against the door, hot tears running down her face at what she had just done. Cordelia felt her legs go weak beneath her, she slid down to the floor in a crumpled heap and wept for the man she had just pushed away.  
  
***  
  
When Angel slammed the motel door closed Fred jolted awake in a panic. They had decided that Angel should go to see Cordelia on his own instead of all of them bursting in with questions. The motel was small and dirty but none of them cared, they had taken two rooms; Fred and Gunn in one and Angel and Wesley in the other. Fred's was the least grimy of the two so her, Gunn and Wes had settled there to wait for news from Angel.  
  
"Where's Cordelia?" Fred ran her hand through her messy hair and moved away from her boyfriend, she had been using his broad chest as a pillow. She frowned at the unreadable look on the vampires face. "Angel? What is it?" The little Texan crawled off the bed and stood in front of him.  
  
"I don't...she wasn't..." Angel muttered unable to put into words what had happened.  
  
"Was she still there?" Wesley asked him.  
  
"Yeah." Angel sat down in an old worn chair, his body felt like lead and it took too much energy to stand.  
  
"So what happened man?" Gunn asked impatiently.  
  
"I'm not really sure." Angel sighed, he leant his head back against the wall behind him and closed his eyes, her words still swimming around in his head. "She said....." He trailed off, not able to utter the words.  
  
"Angel?" Fred said softly, she knelt down in front of him and placed her hand on his knee, when he looked at her she saw tears in his eyes.  
  
"Cordelia's....not coming home... Fred, she said she doesn't love me." Angel murmured still not believing it even as he said it, his eyes pleaded for her to make everything OK.  
  
"That's...that's nonsense! Of course Cordelia loves you! Kyerumption doesn't lie!" Fred cried outraged.  
  
"Well apparently this time it did." The vampire said sadly.  
  
"Angel, what exactly did Cordelia say?" Wesley spoke up trying to understand what was going on.  
  
"Nothing that made any sense." Angel really didn't want to go in to details right now. "She wasn't...I've never seen her like that Wes, she was so...cold."  
  
"Why would Cordelia just up and leave in the middle of the night when you two had just....'made up'?" Fred blushed at her own words. "She loves you so much Angel, there has to be something else going on. You said you smelt something in the kitchen, a demon or something right?" Angel nodded mutely.  
  
"Maybe she's possessed or under a spell?" Fred looked at Wesley for back up.  
  
"Fred's right, we need to go and see her. Was she showing any outward signs of possession." The Englishman decided, they could all see the cogs turning in Wesley's brain already.  
  
"No, she was just...Cordelia. But not our Cordelia, not my...." Angel shook his head in confusion. "I don't think this is a spell guys, there's something else going on. Maybe she has just changed her mind, I mean she's been through a lot recently, Angelus...She said it was him she wanted, not me." Angel finally spat out what she'd said, it left him with a bitter taste in the back of his mouth.  
  
"Now I know that's bullshit!" Gunn shouted and jumped off the bed. "Cordelia has spent the last four weeks hating herself for what she did, hating how she hurt you Angel. Barbie doesn't want Angelus, trust me man from what she's told me she thinks the sun shines outta your backside. You're everything to her. You're the one she loves. You're Mulder to her Scully. Josh to her Donna. Mr Big to her Carrie, Homer to her Marge! Meant to be!" His friends looked at him a little taken aback by his strange little speech. "What? Me and Cordy talk and I've had a lot of time on my hands of late OK! Don't judge me." Even Angel couldn't help but smile at the embarrassed look on the young mans face.  
  
"You're such a geek." Fred smiled at her boyfriend. "So, if it's not a spell than what is it? Why would Cordelia be pushing you away?" She turned back to the vampire. Angel grasped her hand, a light flickering on somewhere inside his brain.  
  
"That's it, she was pushing me away, something has happened and she's trying to push me away! Why else would she have said the things she said? I know she loves me, even after all she said I know Cordelia loves me." Angel said with determination. "I'm not going to let her do this."  
  
***  
  
Anya sat uncomfortably opposite Cordelia, talk as women do and find out what's going on, Giles had told her. Well that was easier said then done thought the vengeance demon. Giles had left early that morning for a Scooby meeting, or a make sure Willow isn't trying to destroy the world again meeting as Anya had called it, leaving the two women in an awkward silence.  
  
"Hey, if I were to have sex with Angel then we'd be even stevens." Anya smiled brightly at her.  
  
"Excuse me?" Cordelia's head snapped up at the other woman's words.  
  
"We've both slept with Xander and Giles, so Angel would make a full set for me."  
  
"I er, I see." Cordelia raised her eyebrow wondering where Anya was going with this.  
  
"So we're probably quite similar then, you and I. The way we are, the way we do things, the men we fall in love with." Anya carried on.  
  
"Well...." Cordelia tried to disagree.  
  
"Yep, two peas in a pod as Giles would say." Anya nodded her head vigorously.  
  
"Anya do you have a point?"  
  
"I know you're lying about not loving Angel, I can see it in your eyes." The vengeance demon shot at the ex- cheerleader. "I saw the same thing every time I looked in the mirror when I was lying to myself about how I felt about Giles. You see women like us, when we fall in love, we fall hard Cordelia. Neither of us are little girls in the throws of first love, when we love it consumes us, it burns us up from inside out and wild horses couldn't drag us from our men. You're grieving for a relationship when you're the one that want's out. It doesn't make sense. So the question is why are you running away from the man that you love?"  
  
"This is none of your business." Cordeila told her curtly.  
  
"You're right, it isn't and if you hadn't turned up at my boyfriends house in the middle of the night I probably wouldn't care less." Anya smiled at her, Cordelia couldn't help but smile back at the other woman's honesty. "But you are here and in so much pain I can practically smell it. I've seen enough women with broken hearts in my line of work, I can spot them a mile off. So you may as well just tell me the truth." Cordelia brushed the invisible fluff off of the sofa arm, wondering if she could trust this woman with the truth.  
  
"Sometimes I used to watch Angel when he slept," She started wistfully, "it was so strange to be laying next to a man that didn't breathe, that had no heart beat. I use to poke him just to make him move, 'woman will you quit it' he use to growl at me." Cordelia chuckled at the memory. "Then he'd wrap those big arms of his around me and everything would be OK, we were just a regular couple in love. It's funny the little things that stick in your mind isn't it? You'd think it would be the grand gestures of love that a girl would think about but it's not. It's the small moments that make up a relationship." She said mostly to herself, she shook her head and tried to put her thoughts in order. "It was the little things that made me think Angel and I were meant to be together, that it was fate. Of course I love Angel, how could I not? I doubt there isn't a woman that Angel has met that didn't fall in love with him, even just a little."  
  
"He certainly is charismatic in a deep soul filled let me be your hero eyes sort of way." Anya nodded in agreement.  
  
"Angel's a good man, no matter what he's done in the past he's still a good man. I thought our love was a reward for all the pain in our lives. A good thing. How could anything bad come from something so wonderful?" Cordelia asked Anya as though she knew the answer. She shook her head and smoothed the wrinkles out of her skirt. "It's fate all right. Written in the fucking stars." Cordelia let out a harsh laugh that caught in her throat and turned into a sob. She buried her face in her hands and wept quietly. Anya didn't know what to do, usually at this point she would go into vengeance mode and cajole Cordelia into wishing Angel were a dung beetle but something told her this wasn't quite the situation for that. Anya sat down next to the seer, as she still didn't know what was going on she didn't try to make Cordelia feel better with naive words of reassurance, instead she laid her arm across the other woman's shoulders and let her cry for as long as she needed.  
  
***  
  
Charles Gunn drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of Angel's beloved car, the fact that he had been allowed to drive the vampires most prize possession was a clear indication to them all that Angel was on the cusp of losing it. They sat in silence as they waited for the sun to set, their champion huddled in the back hiding from the lingering daylight. It had taken every argument his three friends could think of to stop him from running out into the sun to drag Cordelia back to LA instead of waiting until darkness fell. It had been a long day and Gunn was tired, the young man looked over his shoulder at his girlfriend. Fred was staring out of the darkened window, watching life go on around her. He was so grateful that their relationship was relatively normal, yes they faced demons from hell pretty much every day but at least they got to walk in the sun together, eat breakfast in the morning light and not worry about homicidal alter egos. Fred felt his lingering gaze on her and gave him a sweet smile in return, her raised eyebrows asking him what he was thinking about. Gunn simply winked at her then carried on tapping on the wheel with nervous energy.  
  
"So how are we going to do this then?" He asked suddenly. "Rush in, knock Barbie over the head and drag her back to your cave?" Gunn looked in the mirror to see Angel's response, forgetting as they all did every so often that Angel was a vampire and had no reflection.  
  
"Pretty much." Angel muttered from behind him.  
  
"Not the best plan we've ever come up with." Gunn sighed.  
  
"Oh I don't know, we've thought of worse." Wesley said from next to him as he shifted in his seat, trying to bring some life back into his legs.  
  
"She's going to be really angry isn't she?" Fred asked nervously, angry Cordelia scared them all. All three men nodded mutely, the sun had disappeared now and it was time for them to move. Angel hoped Giles had kept his promise to keep her there as long as possible.  
  
"Lets everyone just try to stay calm OK?" Fred said, when she meant everyone she actually just meant Angel, but he was already jogging across the road before she even finished the sentence.  
  
***  
  
This time Cordelia was expecting him, she knew very well that Angel wouldn't give her up without a real fight, she just wasn't sure if she had any fight left in her. So when she heard the three short knocks on the door and saw the look that passed between Anya and Giles she instantly knew who it was. Cordelia could have left Sunnydale hours ago, Giles wasn't that got as a road block, but she stayed and waited for him. Ready to break his heart a little bit more if that was what was needed.  
  
"I wonder who that could be?" Anya said in a forced voice, Cordelia rolled her eyes at her while Giles went to answer the door. Cordelia couldn't meet the vampires stare when he entered, instead she smiled awkwardly at Gunn, Wesley and Fred when they piled in. The seer was taken aback when the petite Texan rushed up to her and hugged her so tightly it almost knocked her off her feet.  
  
"Hey Fred, I...honey I can't breathe." Cordelia tried to pull out of her friends tight embrace. Fred quickly stepped away from her and swatted the ex-cheerleaders arm.  
  
"You scared the crap out of us! Never do that again Cordelia, Angel shot Lilah in the foot and Wesley and Gunn cried!" Fred told her off sternly.  
  
"We most certainly didn't cry!" Wesley grumbled outraged.  
  
"Fine, I was the one that cried, but they were very worried! We thought something evil had taken you." She frowned at her friend. Cordelia felt so bad for what she had done, even though it wasn't really her fault.  
  
"I'm sorry Fred, I didn't mean to scare you." Cordelia squeezed her hand then took a deep breath. "But this is what I want guys. I'm moving on, I'm not coming back to LA. It's....it's just over. There really was no reason for everyone to come here. Angel and I have spoken, he's well aware of what I want." She still didn't look at Angel but she could feel his heated gaze boring into her. Cordelia noticed the disapproving expression on Anya's face and wished she hadn't told the woman anything, wished she had just left that morning on the first bus to anywhere. "If some one could send me my stuff....."  
  
"Stop it." Angel growled at her from the corner he was haunting. "Stop lying, stop pushing us away and stop pretending that this isn't breaking your heart as much as it's breaking mine." Angel marched over to Cordelia and knelt down in front of her, forcing her to look at him. "It's time for you to tell me the truth." Weslely, Gunn and Fred settled down into seats around the room, showing her they had no intention of leaving.  
  
"Why won't you just let me go? Please Angel." Cordelia pleaded with the man in front of her quietly. "You're just making this harder for yourself, I don't love you, it's over, let me go."  
  
"Liar." Anya coughed, Cordelia shot her a threatening look.  
  
"Anya....!" Giles hissed at his girlfriend to stay out of it.  
  
"Giles at the rate it takes for these two to sort anything out we may very well be here for weeks, and quite frankly if I don't get sex soon I'm going to be one very cranky vengeance demon and I don't think any one wants that do they?" Anya spoke up with annoyance. "Now, Angel, Cordelia loves you but some how she's convinced herself that if you stay together you'll cause the apocalypse, its got something to do with some powers and a demon called Scrap I think, but quite honestly I stopped listening after a while. Your girlfriend is such a drama queen." She rolled her eyes in exasperation.  
  
"Thank you Anya." Cordelia scowled at her, the truth was out and she felt the familiar urge to run. Angel tried to put together the little pieces of information Anya had given him.  
  
"Skip? When did you see Skip? " The vampire scratched his head in confusion.  
  
"It doesn't matter. "  
  
"Of course it does!" Angel couldn't help but growl at her.  
  
"It won't change anything Angel."  
  
"Then you may as well tell us then. For once in your life Cordelia can you stop being so bloody difficult!" He barked at her.  
  
"Fine." She snapped back at him. "When I was fixing you some blood in the kitchen, he just sorta...appeared. You know what he's like with the grand entrances."  
  
"So that's who I smelt." Angel nodded in understanding. "And then what happened?"  
  
"Angel I really don't want to talk about this."  
  
"Cordy you don't have a choice."  
  
"Since when is it that I stopped having a choice in my life?! Between you and Skip and those fucking powers that be I'm starting to feel like a five year old child!" Cordelia shouted for no reason at all. She saw everyone shrink back at the tone in her voice and it made her feel a little better.  
  
"Please...Will you just tell me." Angel begged her. Cordelia looked into his brown eyes and saw his soul shining back at her, she always knew they would be her undoing. The fight left her completely, she could deny this man nothing.  
  
"Skip showed me things....showed me our futures." She physically paled at the recent memory.  
  
"What?"The vampire frowned at her words.  
  
"Angel we're not meant to be together, it doesn't matter how much we love each other, the powers are going to keep on tearing us apart." Cordelia let the truth tumble out of her.  
  
"Cordy what did he show you?" Angel urged her on.  
  
"Death. Pain, so much fucking pain." Cordelia rubbed her eyes, trying to erase the images forever burnt into her brain. "Angel, one day you will put me before the good fight and it will be the end for all of us. That's our fate if we stay together, that's our destiny. Every one we love, their children, their children's friends, our love will mean the end for all of them. If we walk away from each other now we are going to save everyone a hell of a lot of pain." Cordelia tried to make him understand.  
  
"No." Angel refused to even consider it.  
  
"Angel you're not listening to me."  
  
"I am, I just don't accept it." He snaked his hand through hers and held it tightly, not willing to ever let her go.  
  
"Well you're just going to have to." Cordelia tried to pull her hand away but couldn't, she let out a world weary sigh.  
  
"I'm not giving you up."  
  
"We can't...."  
  
"I don't care. I love you and you love me and that's all that matters." Angel said stubbornly.  
  
"But our fate is......" Cordelia tried once again to make him understand.  
  
"Screw fate. Marry me?"  
  
"What? No! Goddammit man!" Cordelia sprang out of her seat and struggled to get away from him.  
  
"Giles, Wesley, how many prophecies have we thwarted between us in the last seven years?" Angel asked the Englishmen behind him.  
  
"Too many to bloody remember." Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them.  
  
"We got through them, we changed destiny. You think any of us are really meant to be together? Buffy and Spike? Anya and Giles? Of course demons and humans aren't meant to fall in love but that doesn't mean its going to be the end of the world. Each one of us has the capacity to cause pain Cordelia, you know this. Look at what happened with Willow. Do you honestly think that was her destiny? Of course it wasn't. We make our own future. And my future is with you." Angel walked over to her as he spoke, he could see her resolve breaking down with every word he said.  
  
"But the things I've seen...." Cordelia tried to argue with him as he cupped her face in his hands.  
  
"Can be changed. This isn't the end Cordy. We've barely even begun. What matters is today. It's the journey, not the destination. That's what counts. What ever happens, happens and we will deal with it. The powers say we'll cause the end of the world, well been there, done that. We're all still here. The future can be changed, how we feel about each other can't." Angel traced his thumb across her jaw, Cordelia's eyes were shining with unshed tears, he didn't know if they were of sadness or of happiness. "Don't throw away what we have because you're scared of what might be. Please." He whispered just to her. Angel kissed Cordelia softly, he could feel her trembling in his arms. Cordelia dragged her lips away from him and leant her forehead against his.  
  
"I won't let the people we love suffer because of us." Cordelia whispered, tears running down her face.  
  
"Nor will I. But I'm not going to stop loving you either." Angel promised her. Cordelia desperately wanted to believe her champion."I'll do what ever you want me to Cordy, I will go to the powers, take any test they throw at me but if you think for a second that you're going to walk away from what we have without a fight then you're very much mistaken."  
  
"I know...I love you....but I don't know what to do anymore. After everything we've been through, Connor, your soul, Angelus. How much more of this can we take?" Cordelia searched his eyes for answers that weren't there. Angel brushed her tears away with his thumbs, running them over the smooth planes of her face.  
  
"Just love me and we'll figure the rest out later." Angel smiled softly at her. He kissed her forehead making Cordelia sigh deeply. "Come home." He asked the woman he loved. She nodded her head and relief flooded through the vampires body.  
  
"I love you. I didn't mean what I said about...."  
  
"Shh....I know Cordy. I love you too." They kissed again for a long time, there was pain and promises and hope for the future passing between the lovers. But most importantly there was love that couldn't be broken even by the steely hand of fate. A loud sniff interrupted the intense scene, with his arms still wrapped around Cordelia, Angel turned around to see who the noise came from, they had both forgotten that they weren't alone.  
  
"It's like a Tennessee Williams play." Anya sniffed again and wiped her eyes. "Sorry. Carry on." She waved her hand at them when she realised everyone was looking at her.  
  
"Please don't, I think we've all had just about all we can take of the Angel and Cordelia drama hour." Wesley rolled his eyes.  
  
"I for one need a very large drink." Giles said then kissed the top of Anya's head, he walked over to his drinks cabinet and poured seven glasses of whiskey and distributed them around the room. "I think I may have a book that could help us with this 'prophecy'." Giles slipped into research mode and strolled over to his bookcase, his brain already trying to solve the problem.  
  
"Don't worry guys, we'll figure this out." Fred smiled at the champion and his seer.  
  
"S'all good." Gunn nodded and followed after his girlfriend to where she had taken up residence in front of the ex-watchers computer.  
  
"Always such a freaking drama." Wesley muttered and shook his head as he walked passed them. The small apartment was filled with the sweet sound of determined conversation, Angel and Cordelia sat down next to each other, their hands clasped tightly together.  
  
"These are good people Angel, I won't let any harm come to them." Cordelia leant against him, resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
"It won't Cordy, I promise." Angel vowed to her with every part of his soul. They watched their friends milling around them, all intent on helping them be happy and together.  
  
"You really shot Lilah in the foot?" Cordelia asked him incredulously.  
  
"Yeah, my aim is a little funky." Angel chuckled.  
  
"Better luck next time. Hey!" Cordelia remembered something he had said. "Don't think that I'm going to forget about your sporadic marriage proposal mister. There's going to be a long conversation about that later." She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow at him.  
  
"Oh I haven't forgotten, I'm still waiting for the right answer." Angel smiled and held her a little bit closer.  
  
***  
  
When you fall down you have no other option but to get back up. You can't stay down and watch life go on around you as though you're not part of it all. You can't hide and hope everything will go away because it won't. It doesn't work that way. The trick is to keep hold of the people that help you up, dust you off and get you on your way. Those are the ones that matter. Without those people what would life be? Ash and bones and pain with no hope for the day ahead? So hold on to them with everything you have, let no one take them away. Love them, cherish them and take one day at a time.  
  
the end. 


End file.
